Vodka Guy has worked his way through almost all the M&S canned cocktails and let me tell you, I was desperate for a mega salty snack by the time I was done. Everyone’s favourite retailer has flexed their creative muscle but relied too heavily on the sweeteners and the sugar to make these drinks work well. One or two of the classics and low alcohol offerings are a solid effort, but the rest should go back to the drawing board.
Gin & Tonic
Vodka Guy rating: 7.5/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: 170kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
A reasonable standard G&T from Marks & Sparks. Made with extra dry gin, the more complex flavours come through (angelica or orris root perhaps?). They haven’t messed about with the ingredients too much although they really could get away with reducing the sugar content.
Gin & Diet Tonic
Vodka Guy rating: 3/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: 110kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
This is quite bad. It is completely ruined by the sweetener, sucralose, which adds a nasty aftertaste. At 44kcal per 100ml, it does not seem worth drinking. You would be better off with Fever Tree light tonic water and your own gin.
Think Pink Gin & Tonic
Vodka Guy rating: 4/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: 180kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
The pink colour is delicate and charming but the flavour is weakly insipid. The gin doesn’t seem to have much to it with only the slightest hint of cranberry and far too much sugar. If you’re looking for a decent cranberry flavour you’d be better off making this yourself!
Low Alcohol Extra Dry Botanical G&T
Vodka Guy rating: 4.8/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2
Alcohol content: 0.5%
Calories: around 55kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
A slight whiff of pine fresh loo cleaner permeates this drink. Did M&S raid this cleaning aisle for inspiration perhaps? The carb content is reasonable at 4.9g/100g however they could cut the sugar content. If you had few other choices you could do worse than this low alcohol version.
Mojito
Vodka Guy rating: 3/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: around 208kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
Another whiff of loo cleaner or perhaps toothpaste? Far too sweet for a mojito with an imbalance of lime, fake mint and sugar. As for the white rum, the tasters wondered where this was? It’s very expensive for such a grim drink.
Strawberry Daquiri
Vodka Guy rating: 3.8/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: around 198kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
This time, taking some inspiration from the sweet aisle the food development team perhaps stumbled on some strawberry laces for a flavour profile. It’s not unpleasant but really needs a sharp hit of lime to counter the jammy sweetness. Again, no white rum flavour discernible and just far too much sugar.
Raspberry Mojito
Vodka Guy rating: 4/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: around 200kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
A decent raspberry flavour and quite a pretty ruby colour. Where is the sourness from the lime as counter balance, however? Missing a white rum flavour profile as ever it seems!
Peach on the Beach
Vodka Guy rating: 4.5/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: around 203kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
Finally, the vodka comes through in this drink. There is no peach in the ingredients listed though, and you can tell as it has a bit of a false note. The drink is OK. But it could be a lot more interesting.
Pina Colada
Vodka Guy rating: 4/10 (or 5/10 depending on who you ask)
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: around 228kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
Like a fool, I had one or two hopes for this given the promising ingredients like actual pineapple juice and coconut milk. I thought it was far too unpleasantly sweet but other tasters disagreed and said they liked it. Again though, there was no rum flavour. Also, does this drink really need banana puree in it?
Whiskey Sour
Vodka Guy rating: 5/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: 183kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
One of the better offerings. I personally prefer a heavier hand with the whiskey in my sours and no carbonated water (!) but this is drinkable. These M&S canned cocktails are a lot better with fewer ingredients.
Low Alcohol Grapefruit and Chilli Collins
Vodka Guy rating: 5.5/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2
Alcohol content: 0.5%
Calories: around 40kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
Not bad at all if you like grapefruit. This could be very refreshing with a slice of citrus over ice on a hot day and has an interesting herbal note. I can’t say that I detect any noticeable hint of chilli, however.
Pink Passion Star Martini Cocktail
Vodka Guy rating: 1/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: 197kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
A terrible example of what happens when synthetic vanillin ruins everything. The flavour is unpleasantly fake and of course, this is just far far far too sweet. I couldn’t taste any passion fruit either. Avoid.
Cosmo
Vodka Guy rating: 3/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2.40
Alcohol content: 8%
Calories: 210kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
At least the vodka/’grain alcohol’ flavour comes through on this one. It is let down by bad cranberry juice, however. You’d bet better off with the gin and tonic.
Low Alcohol Cola & Golden Spiced
Vodka Guy rating: 3/10
Cost (summer 2023): £2
Alcohol content: 0.5%
Calories: around 48kcal per can
Volume: 250ml
Has the M&S copywriter got a sense of humour with this drink name? What a way to describe what is essentially ‘cinnamon cola’. This drink is too basic with a lot of cinnamon, sweetener and not much else. Perhaps just get yourself a coke from the chiller cabinet for less money.
Rose Negroni Spritz Sparkling Cocktail
Vodka Guy rating: 5.5/10
Cost (summer 2023): £3.50
Alcohol content: 14%
Calories: around 65kcal per can
Volume: 150ml
This leads heavily with the Rose vermouth thus making it quite sweet, again. At least it has a detectable bitter note, however. I’m not sure why M&S didn’t go the usual ratios of 1:1:1 with vermouth, apero and gin and does one really need hibiscus in a drink already chock full of herbs and botanicals? This is palatable but they could do a bit better!
